2008 Phillies Ready for Spring Training

"How old are these things?!", Phillies General Manager Pat Gillick demanded, as he tossed the offending snack cakes into the trash receptacle. The Butterscotch Krimpets had looked rather enticing, particularly considering that he had skipped breakfast, but tasted like they had been around longer than his 45 year-old 4th starter. Fortunately, this would be a quick meeting, as Clay Condrey would be down to drive the group to the airport shortly. There would be plenty of food on the flight to Florida.

"Those are the Krimpets we got from Baltimore in the Roberson deal", Assistant GM Ruben Amaro replied. "I think they were a bit past-their-prime when we got them. But I still think we got the better of that deal." Gillick nodded in agreement.

Amaro: "I think we got the better of all of our dealings this winter. While the media and the blogosphere have been critical of some of our personnel moves, we are definitely a better team than we were a year ago. Picking up Eric Bruntlett has already paid off big time."

Gillick: "It's always good to add another Economics major to the organization. He saved me quite a bit on my taxes. (Abraham) Nunez may be a little better with the bat, but he didn't find me nearly as many tax deductions."

Amaro: "(Brad) Lidge will solidify the bullpen, and we didn't give up a whole lot (Geoff Geary and Michael Bourn) to get him."

Gillick: "Yep, between his 12 K/9 IP and his kick-ass entrance song, he should be good for fifty saves. That song really gets the adrenalin pumpin'."

Amaro: "At least fifty saves. And (3B Pedro) Feliz will save about that many with his glove."

Gillick: "Feliz may be good for an out in 72% of his plate appearances, but nothing is more undervalued than strong defense these days."

Amaro: "Except, perhaps, the value of league-average innings. We'll get plenty of those from Benson, Blackley, Moyer, and Eaton."

Gillick: "With our lineup, league-average innings is all we need. The sequel to Moneyball is going to be all about us, Ruby."

Amaro: "The best chapter will be the one about when we told everyone we were happy with Dobbs and Helms at 3B. And then we shocked the world by signing Feliz!"

Gillick: "Now, all that's left to do is to trade Helms. I think we could get some Chocolate Juniors for him, if we eat some of his salary."

Amaro: "I could really go for some Chocolate Juniors about now. We'll have to have Clay stop at Wawa, so we can pick some up."

Gillick: "You're going to make a great GM, Ruby..."