Myers Enters Hall

(Spoiler Alert: The following was originally posted on July 24th, 2028. It may contain spoilers if read prior to that date.)


Brett Myers never suffered from a shortage of confidence. Whether as a boxer at the age of eleven, or as a forty-year-old pitcher, he was always very certain of his ability. But not even Myers expected to be honored with induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Let alone being chosen to enter Cooperstown in his first year of eligibilty.

The majority of the mainstream blogosphere was also quite surprised at Myers' induction. Well, maybe "surprised" isn't the best word. "Enraged" might be a more appropriate word choice. There were posts arguing that Myers' 232 career wins and 3.62 career ERA weren't Hall-worthy. "A reflection of longevity, not superiority," they claimed. They noted that Myers spent the last decade of his career as the third-best pitcher, on his own team. (Behind aces Cole Hamels and Carlos Carrasco.) An excellent pitcher, yes, but not a Hall of Famer.

Myers did have his share of supporters. His outstanding postseason performances (and who could forget those World Series duels with Buchholz, Guerra, and Hochevar?) were proof that Myers was at his best when the games counted the most. His twenty-eight victory season with the 130-win team of 2011 was one of the best individual seasons in the 21st century. Without Myers' pitching (and his considerable leadership skills), Philadelphia surely wouldn't have been able to run off their streak of seven consecutive World Championships from 2008-2014.

As Myers stood at the podium, the arguments for and against his HoF candidacy no longer mattered. He mopped the sweat from his brow, as he looked into the crowd. So many people to thank, he thought to himself. His wife, Kim, his sons, Kolt and Cole, and his daughter, Kylie, cheered from the front row. He never would have been so successful without their support. His family was flanked by former pitching coaches Tom Filer and Jamie Moyer. They were to thank for his longevity, not to mention being instrumental in his transformation into a team leader, a role model for the younger players.

"I don't know who to thank first, and I really hope I don't forget anybody," Myers began. A murmur arose from the crowd, as a single figure approached the stage. The tall, lanky figure seemed vaguely familiar to Myers, but he couldn't quite place him.

"You can thank me first, Brett, because you've been PUNK'D!," Kyle Kendrick howled.